Province News

Reflections on Ordination by Fr. Jim Collins, SJ
June 17, 2005

As I processed down the aisle at St. Ignatius Church toward my ordination to priestly service my eyes couldn’t help but notice all the faces of friends, family, and former work mates who were there to support and affirm my unique vocation. I had the sensation of being at my own funeral seeing faces from the distinct chapters of my life gathered together. As I neared the altar I noticed the familiar letters AMDG painted on the ceiling above the altar. That phrase put the whole extraordinary event into focused perspective. My life as a Jesuit, the people of God surrounding me, and my ordination is all focused on giving greater honor and glory to God.

From my annual eight day retreat the week before the line that keeps echoing in my head and heart is from Eucharistic Prayer 2, “Thank you for counting (making) us worthy to stand in your presence and serve you.” That was my mantra prayer during the whole liturgy. When I lay prostrate as the litany of saints was being chanted I thanked each one for their intercession to make me worthy for the privilege to serve God’s holy people. I thought of the faces of the saints gathered in that church who have interceded for me by their example and encouragement and I thanked them.

After Dave DeMarco and I were introduced and accepted as candidates for ordination by Francis Cardinal George we were invited to turn and face the congregation to receive their confirmation and affirmation by way of applause. That’s when I felt ordained. With tears of gratitude I mouthed “thank you. Gracias” for being accepted as your fellow servant on Christ’s mission. That’s when the people of God “laid hands” on my head. I wanted to kneel down and receive their blessing right there. Even my embarrassing tears of gratitude were for God’s greater honor and glory.

As the Cardinal and my fellow Jesuit Priests laid hands on my sweaty head I honestly felt the flow of the Holy Spirit. From where I knelt I could look up past their faces and see the dove painted on the ceiling above sending a waterfall of grace upon me. It was sometimes electric and my body reacted. More tears.

The oils of ordination were lavishly applied to my hands and the perfumed smell permeated my nose. A beautiful smell I won't soon forget. The oils washed and strengthened my soul for its work to give greater honor and glory to God. We kept the towels we used to wash off the oil.

I had chosen my dear mother and my Jesuit mentor Father Brad Schaeffer to help vest me into my new work uniform. A dress. Brad told my mom that she had dressed me as a child and so she should dress me as a Priest. Even though they put the chasuble on backwards at first, they straightened me out as they both have many times before!

The reception following the ordination was a blast. I ran around visiting with so many friends thanking them for being there to celebrate with me and with the Church. Their presence there was a gift. From the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius I have learned that we can’t love and serve the Lord until we courageously accept that the Lord first loves and serves us. That’s the grace that I was receiving through them.

My first Mass at St. Procopius church was truly a Mass of Thanksgiving. As I approached the altar my mind’s eye saw the same AMDG--a focusing reminder of our purpose there. The readings of the day were perfect for the occasion. Christ’s compassionate look upon the people gathered is the affective source of our vocations. When we allow our hearts to be moved with compassion we are feeling what Christ felt. In my story that is precisely the source of my vocation. And our unique vocations will indeed unfold from there. All we need do is allow, what Jack Shea calls the “arsonist of our hearts” to enter and touch us.

Praying the Eucharistic prayers with and for God’s people was simply a beautiful experience. The prayers are so full of gratitude for God’s graciousness. Consistent with the gospel of the day, the Mass truly gathered, inspired, empowered and sent us out with our hearts on fire to “Love and serve the Lord and one another.”

When my friends and family were on their ways home and the Mexican reception in the parish hall was cleaned up, I went to my room and tried to begin to digest the banquet of graces from the weekend. My prayer was liquid in the form of tears. I simply wept . . . until I fell dead asleep! My reservoir was overflowing with grace that I will draw on to be among God’s holy people as one who serves Christ’s mission.

That AMDG painted on the ceiling of St Ignatius Church is burnt into my memory and will orient my ordained life of service. Everything for God’s greater honor and glory. Amen.

Father Jim Collins, S.J.

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