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Jim Ackerman, SJ

If not you, then who? If not now, When? These are questions I ended up asking myself when considering a religious vocation three years ago. I was 34 years old, had plateaued in my job, and was eager for a challenge. Gnawing at me was a desire to make a difference in the world and to help people on a deeper level. My faith was very important to me, and my interest in the church was heightened by a wonderfully dynamic parish I belonged to in a poor, African American section of Cincinnati.

I was first introduced to a Jesuit through a friend I met on an Appalachian project in Kentucky. He suggested I try a weeknight Mass for young adults at a local church in Cincinnati led by a vibrant, energetic Jesuit priest.

I met with this Jesuit priest and shared with him stirrings I felt to pursue a religious life. He introduced me to Ignatian spirituality, and I learned about St. Ignatius and his vision of the Society of Jesus ? the Jesuits. Calling themselves "Contemplatives in Action," the first Jesuits worked in hospitals and helped the poor in Rome. I knew I liked action (!) and I liked being contemplative. But finding a balance had eluded me up to that point of my life. I was impressed with the history of the Jesuits, the international opportunities, their reputation for academic excellence and their spirituality. So I agreed to go on a 7 day "discernment retreat" at the novitiate where I would live if I decided to take the plunge.

Could I be a priest? Or a brother? I felt a strong pull to the idea of inspiring others to the beauty of Jesus' message: his life, his love, and the challenge of the Gospel to help the least of society (which I soon realized included the rich). I recall that I heard that a vocation is where "what you want" and "what God desires" intersect. There appeared to be an intersection.

After a few months of meeting other Jesuits and talking with other religious orders, I decided that I had to try it. But in order to do so, I had to sell my house and quit my job. This was not easy. I led a somewhat glamorous life as a flight attendant based in New York and flying Asian and European routes with 11 years of seniority. I told friends and family about my inclination to join the Jesuits and was surprised at the overwhelmingly positive feedback.

I prayed a lot over the decision, and finally, after getting tired of being a bystander to the spiritual poverty that exists in the USA and the world, I felt confirmed and happy that this was something I really wanted to do.

So, I entered the Chicago province novitiate at age 35 with 5 other guys joining 10 other men who were in their second year of the two-year novitiate. This was an intense time of prayer, discernment, social activity and working in various places to test my interest and ability to minister in different settings. While in the novitiate, I worked at a Detroit inner?city hospital, at Covenant House in Hollywood California with homeless and runaway teenagers, at a day care center for children 0 to 5 years old and at a Jesuit high school in Chicago. All of the experiences were huge growth experiences that helped me determine whether I could give my life to ministry and represent the Catholic Church. I felt it was definitely a challenge and privilege to be able to put a face on my faith and be a tangible witness for what I believed in. Central to the novitiate was a 30-day silent retreat which was a marvelous challenge and also gift.

I took my First Vows two months ago and now in my third year with the Jesuits I am a Scholastic which means I am now a full time student primarily studying Philosophy, Theology at Loyola University in Chicago. It is a busy time but very rewarding, as a chance for prayer, social interaction with 40 other men in the same stage as me, and the chance to do social ministry. Presently, I volunteer at a place called Misericordia in Chicago teaching art to developmentally disabled people.

I must say, it has been a terrific adventure and I have constantly felt the presence of Jesus guiding me to where I can best serve Him.

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